Reviewed by Alicia Glass
A struggling couple with their young daughter are invited to spend an idyllic weekend at a newly-made friends country house, that hides a whole bunch of nasty secrets!
Normally, a review consists of a few paragraphs of expounding on the movie and then the ranted opinion itself, closing with a recommendation as to whether or not Moxie recommends going to see said film. Speak No Evil is a very weird exception, for there is very little in the way of plot to follow, and the would-be horror devolves into cheap scares and dumbassery for us to laugh at. When the theater audience has cat-callers hooting and calling out the protagonist dad figure of the film and there is no censure from anyone else, you’re doing something wrong. But, let’s attempt a dive anyway!
So Ben (Scoot McNairy) and Louise (Mackenzie Davis) Dalton are struggling, with life, with career and money trouble of course, and perhaps most importantly but less often spoken of, with each-other. Whilst trying to hide it all from their sensitive bunny-stricken daughter Agnes (Alix West Lefler) too, of course. They somehow took a vacation runaway of sorts to Tuscany of all places, where they stay in a villa with a few other vacationers, bonding over the one annoying couple no-one else likes with new friends Paddy (James McAvoy) and Ciara (Aisling Fraciosi) and their apparently nonverbal kid Anthony or Ant (Dan Hough). Later, after a reminder postcard with the extended offer of a weekend stay at their country home is again extended to the Daltons, the two parental units decide it would be a good idea to run away some more and off they go, with Agnes and Hoppy in tow!
It’s amazing that the Dalton parents know so little about Paddy and Ciara and still decide to spend a weekend with them at their run-down country house. And just as soon as they do finally find the place, Paddy goes from the amiable fellow-dad to sympathize and bro-mance with, to an opinionated antagonistic competitor, who has to have his way about absolutely everything. It begins with the named goose he cooked for their first dinner there, despite being well aware Louise is vegan, and escalates to trying to instigate Ben into being more manly and take-charge, to serious disagreements in the way Paddy tries to raise his not-quite-mute kid, and finally the Dalton parents begin to realize perhaps this wasn’t such a good idea.
It’s often the children in these stories who provide the horrific reveal of what the villain, or villains, have been up to, and Speak No Evil is no different in this regard. Little Dan Hough gives a striking and ghastly performance as Ant, chop-chop-chopping his way through a silent explanation of what actually happened to his poor tongue. The brilliant way Agnes gets her parents alone to inform them of Ant’s new information is one of the few bright, smart spots of the entire movie. And after the Daltons have finally understood the true nightmare of their situation and their very real need to escape, the film basically degenerates into a kind of reverse home invasion horror flick, as the Daltons try to hide amidst the country house of our baddies trying to hunt them down!
None of it is enough. No reason was ever given as to why Paddy the purported former doctor is like this, why he needs to OCD his trophies to the point of an incriminating evidence locker, why Ant was the one to finally find the courage to fight back, why the hell Ben is such a freaking milquetoast of a human one can’t even consider him the head of the Dalton family, why Louise is still putting up with all this nonsense over the safety of her beloved daughter, and why hasn’t the authorities or the families of other victims kicked up any kind of ruckus by now? Why is the neighboring handyman type Mike (Kris Hitchen) in league with our villainous couple to the point where he takes to hunting the Daltons with shotgun in tow, too? The film is apparently a remake of a 2022 Danish film of the same name, and we have to ask, why did anyone think the film market needed such a thing? Well, whatever. Cover your mouth to keep from yelling common-sense advice to the deplorably naïve characters on the screen and catch Speak No Evil in theaters now!