Crank High Voltage

Gimmie more'a the juice!

Reviewed by: Alicia Glass
Published on: March 10, 2022 (URL is not
Available on: Netflix
Content release date: 2009-04-17

Reviewed by Alicia Glass

Review Rating: 7.5

Chev Chelios is back, chasing down the bad guys who literally stole his heart and replaced it with a device that requires Chev to jolt himself with high volts of electricity to keep going.

Right off the bat, let me say, this movie isn’t for everyone. Not for children most certainly, but likely only the really stranger, rowdy kinds of folks will really get, much less enjoy, this movie. Crank High Voltage isn’t so much a movie, as an acid trip that unapologetically pokes fun at everything from porno actor rights to the rigid methods of movie-making itself. Even Jason Statham, who stars as Chev Chelios, running his skinny butt off throughout most of the film, has this constant look like he’s about to bust out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. It’s disturbing to see Bai Ling as your stereotypical asian hooker, but remember that’s the part she’s playing and boy does she throw herself into it, so learn to laugh at it already! And Amy Smart returns as Chev’s…hrm, I don’t think we can rightly call her his girlfriend, although the two of them grace the racetrack with a show that even the horses can’t ignore! And yes, there are many moments where Chev juices himself on electricity that would have even the hardest Dominatrix going, “Wow.” There are crazed camera angles, a full-on shot of a horse penis, sawed-off nipples, a shotgun enema (oh you wish I was kidding), a riot of porno actors on strike for better pay, and a whole host of other insane scenes that had me laughing while I looked for eye disinfectant!

With fans that put the tic back in fanatic, Crank High Voltage will have you screaming, “Hit him with the tazer, yeah yeah!”