Babylon A.D.

This ain't the promised land!

Reviewed by: Alicia Glass
Published on: March 12, 2022 (URL is not
Available on: Hulu
Content release date: 2008-08-29

Reviewed by Alicia Glass

Review Rating: 7

In an alternate futuristic world, Mercenary Toorop takes a job escorting a girl being hunted by religious zealots as their next Messiah, the government and assassins, from Russia to America.

Apparently this movie is an adaptation from the novel Babylon Babies by Maurice Georges Dantec, and frankly if you want storyline I’d suggest finding the book. It seems much of the explanations of the plots’ minutia is sacrificed in favor of action scenes starring our dear Vin Diesel and explosions. And hey, I’m all for Diesel with what looks like a cyborg arm, covered in tattoos (that are actually mystical protection symbols that the movie doesn’t bother explaining), spouting one-liners in that gravelly voice of his while he does his level best to save the life of his charge from allll the bad guys. But really, that’s not how the movie was advertised or touted, and that annoys me.

Melaine Thierry stars as Aurora, the virgin prophecy of the Noelites, with Michelle Yeoh as Sister Rebekah her protector. And yes, while the graphics and CGI of this movie are all kinds of expensive and neat-looking, the car chase scenes where Diesel kills lots of bad guys in the most violent way possible, and so on and so forth, it just seems empty. They could’ve done so much more with the movie, and didn’t, rumor has it due to constant feuding between the director and the studio production company.

A much easier way to get semi-mindless Vin Disel action is to watch The Fast and the Furious.