The Cabin in the Woods

Death by unicorn!

Reviewed by: Alicia Glass
Published on: March 1, 2022

Review Rating: 8

A gang of Scooby-like friends get together for a weekend break in a cabin in the woods, only to discover seriously strange things happening when they try to leave, and are forced to stay and discover the secrets of The Cabin in the Woods!

Sometimes, it’s great to be the audience of a fantastic Horror film. This is one of those times, for a magnum opus co-wrote by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard, who directed. Shown as a kind of montage homage to every single last Horror flick ever made, we are treated to the movie itself, the Cabin and the Scooby gang being killed in the most horrific fashion, but also privy to the behind the scenes of WTF’s going on, lab geeks and security and Office-type folk, wondering what the hell they’re up to and how the two stories tie in together. You don’t have to be a huge Horror fan to start making guesses about what’s going on halfway through the movie, though it does help in order to be right. Despite my initial skepticism of “oh, yet another Cabin in the Woods remake, whooptie-doo”, that is entirely not the case. Yet despite breaking lots of barriers and having what I’m pretty sure is the highest count of Nightmares you’ll find in any Horror movie today (or ever, for that matter), the film for it’s first half remains almost a parody of traditional Horror movies. But done in such a belovedly wacky way, you can’t help but smile.

How many Nightmares can one Horror movie fit in? There are Werewolves, Wraiths, Mutants, an Angry Molesting Tree and Deadites, a traditional Merman, Goblins, Cenobite styles, Wendigo, Vampires of course, scary lookers called only The Scarecrow Folk, Demons and Hell Lords and Witches oh my, a realistic Jack O’ Lantern, Death by Unicorn (I’m not kidding either), a Sugarplum Fairy, The Bride, Clowns inevitably, even a visit from a real Flying Purple People Eater! And those were just the ones I could name! Our chosen Athlete Curt is Chris Hemsworth, yes, Mr. Mjolnir Hammer himself. Anna Hutchinson is Jules, our resident and standard Whore character, whose make-out scene with a wolfs head was…interesting? Jesse Williams is Holden, the Scholar hiding his light under Jock friendships. Fran Kranz is Marty the Fool, our beloved Stoner character which seems to have become another mainstay of Horror flicks. And Kristen Connolly is Virgin Dana, probably the most traditional mainstay of a Horror film; her reactions crack me up. Richard Jenkins is Sitterson, and Bradley Whitford is Hadley, the movies technicians for the Ritual, under the Director, whose voice you may recognize!